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Shittiest army ever?
#1
In Rick Aktinson's WWII Trilogy there is a really funny line about Italy, thus ended the reign of [family name], which never ended a war on the same side as it started.
Since I've talked about shitty armies a bit, what's your shittiest army (10 brigade max)? There have to be some 9k armies there with poor morale and leadership of which the Italians would be proud.
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#2
(06-09-2020, 11:44 PM)Pine Needle Wrote: In Rick Aktinson's WWII Trilogy there is a really funny line about Italy, thus ended the reign of [family name], which never ended a war on the same side as it started.
Since I've talked about shitty armies a bit, what's your shittiest army (10 brigade max)? There have to be some 9k armies there with poor morale and leadership of which the Italians would be proud.

Yeah, not familiar with that author, but since the Fall of Rome (something I am familiar with and have read Edward Gibbon's three volumes "Decline and Fall"), Italy has not demonstrated a lot of moxey on the battlefield.  If memory serves, they were asked by the Axis to take Ethiopia, and that turned out to be quite a struggle.

Reminds me of the joke:
Question: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
Answer:  No one knows - it's never been tried.
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#3
(06-09-2020, 11:44 PM)Pine Needle Wrote: In Rick Aktinson's WWII Trilogy there is a really funny line about Italy, thus ended the reign of [family name], which never ended a war on the same side as it started.
Since I've talked about shitty armies a bit, what's your shittiest army (10 brigade max)? There have to be some 9k armies there with poor morale and leadership of which the Italians would be proud.

New respect for Pine Needle- The Liberation Trilogy is up there with Shirer's Rise and Fall of the 3rd Reich as some of the best WW2 books there are. Atkinson is amazing weaving real first person narrative and dialogue in with the tactical and strategic. One of my faves.

Reading his new set about American Revolution now, also great.
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#4
But shittiest army every? I would have to go with some mix of Sorceror troops and regular skeletons probably. Centurion led.
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#5
(06-10-2020, 04:39 PM)Acererak Wrote: But shittiest army every? I would have to go with some mix of Sorceror troops and regular skeletons probably. Centurion led.

I'd say that would be a  pretty good response.  So if there has to be an answer, what would players want it to be if not that choice above?
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#6
(06-10-2020, 07:45 PM)Ry Vor Wrote:
(06-10-2020, 04:39 PM)Acererak Wrote: But shittiest army every? I would have to go with some mix of Sorceror troops and regular skeletons probably. Centurion led.

I'd say that would be a  pretty good response.  So if there has to be an answer, what would players want it to be if not that choice above?

Hold on, I challenge that assessment!

I've played magic kingdoms before and reached podium on those crappy troops (1st place Necromancer in game 5242, 1st place Demon Princes game 5247, and 2nd place Sorcerer game 5246).

I love skeletons!. They are cheap to maintain (0 food which is wickedly awesome in Ice Age games), fully heal themselves every turn, and low level wizards can summon a load of them for replacements.

Sure you can't fight an oversized enemy group one-on-one but you can wipe out that kingdom while they pile on their troops into a single group. With skeletons and teleporting/invisible wizard groups, you can hit 4-8 pc's before the other kingdom even knows what's going on. I've wiped out opposing kingdoms before they can respond with simple hit-n-run tactics taking over all of their pc's which weakened their troops.

So say what you wish but I've actually won games with just skeleton forces. If you want to know which is the worst troop type, try considering:

Lowest combat value:        War Machines
Lowest defense value:       Goblins
Highest gold consumption: Stormgate Guard, Phoenix      (3,000 gold per turn)
Highest food consumption: Stormgate Guard, Mammoths (3,000 food per turn)
Highest gold recruit cost:   Phoenix                                 (15,000 gold per brigade)
Highest food recruit cost:   Stormgate Guard, Hill Giants   (10,000 food per brigade)
                                       Mammoths, Phoenix, Trolls
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#7
(06-11-2020, 07:49 AM)unclemike Wrote:
(06-10-2020, 07:45 PM)Ry Vor Wrote:
(06-10-2020, 04:39 PM)Acererak Wrote: But shittiest army every? I would have to go with some mix of Sorceror troops and regular skeletons probably. Centurion led.

I'd say that would be a  pretty good response.  So if there has to be an answer, what would players want it to be if not that choice above?

Hold on, I challenge that assessment!

I've played magic kingdoms before and reached podium on those crappy troops (1st place Necromancer in game 5242, 1st place Demon Princes game 5247, and 2nd place Sorcerer game 5246).

I love skeletons!. They are cheap to maintain (0 food which is wickedly awesome in Ice Age games), fully heal themselves every turn, and low level wizards can summon a load of them for replacements.

Sure you can't fight an oversized enemy group one-on-one but you can wipe out that kingdom while they pile on their troops into a single group. With skeletons and teleporting/invisible wizard groups, you can hit 4-8 pc's before the other kingdom even knows what's going on. I've wiped out opposing kingdoms before they can respond with simple hit-n-run tactics taking over all of their pc's which weakened their troops.

So say what you wish but I've actually won games with just skeleton forces. If you want to know which is the worst troop type, try considering:

Lowest combat value:        War Machines
Lowest defense value:       Goblins
Highest gold consumption: Stormgate Guard, Phoenix      (3,000 gold per turn)
Highest food consumption: Stormgate Guard, Mammoths (3,000 food per turn)
Highest gold recruit cost:   Phoenix                                 (15,000 gold per brigade)
Highest food recruit cost:   Stormgate Guard, Hill Giants   (10,000 food per brigade)
                                       Mammoths, Phoenix, Trolls

Oh I love Skeletons too. Easy to get, cheap and heal.
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#8
(06-11-2020, 10:06 AM)Acererak Wrote:
(06-11-2020, 07:49 AM)unclemike Wrote:
(06-10-2020, 07:45 PM)Ry Vor Wrote:
(06-10-2020, 04:39 PM)Acererak Wrote: But shittiest army every? I would have to go with some mix of Sorceror troops and regular skeletons probably. Centurion led.

I'd say that would be a  pretty good response.  So if there has to be an answer, what would players want it to be if not that choice above?

Hold on, I challenge that assessment!

I've played magic kingdoms before and reached podium on those crappy troops (1st place Necromancer in game 5242, 1st place Demon Princes game 5247, and 2nd place Sorcerer game 5246).

I love skeletons!. They are cheap to maintain (0 food which is wickedly awesome in Ice Age games), fully heal themselves every turn, and low level wizards can summon a load of them for replacements.

                            

Oh I love Skeletons too. Easy to get, cheap and heal.
I will have to try this. Right now, I think orcs and goblins seem better "shitty" troops, mostly because of special ability. I might try to build a skeleton/zombie army next time- LOTS of brigades and very little cost. Both could be built much faster than 3 brigades/turn like a companion army (and you're paying the companions throughout the build process).
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#9
(06-10-2020, 04:38 PM)Acererak Wrote:
(06-09-2020, 11:44 PM)Pine Needle Wrote: In Rick Aktinson's WWII Trilogy there is a really funny line about Italy, thus ended the reign of [family name], which never ended a war on the same side as it started.
Since I've talked about shitty armies a bit, what's your shittiest army (10 brigade max)? There have to be some 9k armies there with poor morale and leadership of which the Italians would be proud.

New respect for Pine Needle- The Liberation Trilogy is up there with Shirer's Rise and Fall of the 3rd Reich as some of the best WW2 books there are. Atkinson is amazing weaving real first person narrative and dialogue in with the tactical and strategic. One of my faves.

Reading his new set about American Revolution now, also great.

I'll check it out. The other funny line I remember was the Russian ambassador only knowing two words in English "Second front." I wish I could find the quotes.
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